She is not just a dog!

My baby Binky is really ill. She has been suffering from kidney failure & she is been melting and dissolving in front of my eyes. I have been in and out to the vet hospital for the past week or so and tried all I could to save her... to save her for me!
For some people it doesn't make sense but for those who've had the pleasure to live close by a truly loyal and genius dog makes a lot of meaning. For some she is just a dog, but for me Binky who lived closely with us for twelve years.
Binky for me is a person who understands me all the way without reciprocation expectations or  regret. My dog, or better to say my friend, walked with me through my life journey for years. She was asking me not to cry every time that I cried. She was telling me to be strong with her eyes every time that I was doubting life. For some, dogs are dogs who needs to walk and eat at a certain time. But for those who've had and have dogs like Binky, they know that they are not just... a dog!

Now I am in a situation to make a decision--- The hardest, harshest decision that I've ever made! I don't regret to have her ever for going through these days but I probably can not forgive myself to make this decision!  Tonight might be the last night that she'll  be sleeping close to my bed! But it is going to be so so hard to take one of the dogs bed out of my room next week! My heart is screaming now. I can not stop crying. I am talking to myself... "she is just a dog. Think of those moms who lost their sons or daughters!  Think of those who are sitting in a hospital bed close to their loved ones and holding their cold hands!
But I don't know how to ... I don't know... she is my best friend! Truly she is the best I ever had as a friend Innocent without any expectations. She instead gave me only love, pure love. In her round eyes she never lies to me she never treats me different or ever turns her back from me. She was always loving me no matter what, where or how. She is not just a dog she is twelve years of memories. She might have a tail but she means almost everything to me. Her tiny body carries a big soul always benefiting of her love every time that she looks at me. She gave us pure honesty without any limits. Her love to each one of my family members was different and based on their personality or age because she was created to be a healer. She is our darling friend forever...
Adding more to do this article or essay or whatever you want to call it. Tonight is June 5th 2013 my binky died two hours ago while I was holding her for the last time. She died like a human. So peacefully and calm. By the time that we arrived to the emergency she lift her hand looked at our wet eyes and took her last breath so deep!
It was not easy to watch her, I don't know how I could walk with her dead body ! Her eyes were open and it was like she was talking to me. I don't know how to walk back to our house without her! She is everywhere... nobody understand ... how hard it is...
I lost a great person which I named Binky twelve years ago. I would never ever can find anyone like her. Her lost will stay as a big empty hole in my life. I will miss you my Binky every day.

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